How To Fix Your Attitude Towards Money

How To Fix Your Attitude Towards Money

It is easy for people to get defensive or feel ashamed when they are struggling with their finances. But here's the thing, where you are is just where you are, not WHO you are. Starting with this mindset will set you up for success!

The first step to creating healthy finances is to get clear on what your financial goals are. Start by writing down where you want to be in 1, 5 and 10 years time. Having clear goals will help you create even clearer action steps.

Most people don't like this next step, but in order to go where you want to go, you have to know where you've been. Take a look at your monthly spending: how much money do you have leftover each month after expenses? Is there leftover? Make it a game to see how much you can increase that leftover by removing any unnecessary spending, canceling subscriptions, and cutting out useless expenses.

Here's the best part - you get to give that money a plan! Tell your money where to go. The 3 areas your leftover money will go towards are: debt, investments and fun. Using the snowball effect, start by paying down your smallest debts. Once you've paid off a debt, take that money and add it onto the minimum payment of the next debt.

The key here is consistency. Make it fun, celebrate your progress and create your new belief about money.

If you aren't sure exactly where to start, let's set up a time to chat! e-mail me Guinevere@roilhighness.com with subject line CHAT ME and let's see how we can help you change your money mindset today.

xoxo,
Gwen

How to stop seeking the approval of others

Are you seeking approval from others to feel good about yourself? 

Do you seek validation from others to make yourself feel better? 

If so, self-esteem may be the problem. The reason we don't have low self-esteem is because often we were taught that our self-worth should come from other people instead of ourselves. 

If you struggle with making decisions without seeking approval from others, I'm going to help you solve it in three easy steps.

 

Step One: Determine your values. 

This is what makes you happy. These are the things that you love in your life. Could it be time with family? Could it be having more fun? Could it be leaving a legacy for your children? Decide what values will make you happy and then work to create your life around your own values, which will be completely different from someone else's. This is the most important step of self-esteem because it defines who you are and what your self-worth should be. A few examples include: honesty, faithfulness in relationships, family values, etc. Write down a list of values that are most important to you, and focus on your top values as a "code of conduct" for living your life day to day. 

Step Two: Learn how to trust yourself.

The foundation of self-esteem is self-trust. When we have self trust, a firm belief in our own abilities, then we can confidently pursue the things that make us happy and care less about what others think because it no longer affects us so deeply. Practice self-trust by accepting your strengths as well as your flaws. Listen to your inner compass. That's going to take you on a journey in your life. Sit with it, listen, experience, and you will begin to trust yourself. 

Step Three: Autosuggestion.

If I told you that your brain believes everything that you told it, what would you tell your brain today? Think about how your ideas are great ideas. Tell your brain your ideas are worthy. This is how we validate our own self worth and how we don't need to seek approval from other people for our own actions. Self-affirming statements to yourself can help you learn how self-acceptance and self-love. "I like myself." "I am a good person, worthy of love." This kind of autosuggestion is an excellent way to build self esteem because it's in your control. You don't have to wait. 

It’s time to stop seeking approval of others and listen to your own voice. Start by determining what you value in life, trusting yourself more, and using autosuggestion techniques so that you can put this new mindset into practice. 

If you need help designing a plan for the best possible version of your future or if you're looking for more tips on how to design your best life, click the link below and join our free community, where women just like you are working on designing a life that they are truly in love with. 

I'm Gwen, and thanks for reading. 

Join our free community by clicking here.

How to turn my day job into my full-time job?

How to turn my day job into my full-time job?
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how do I get unstuck in my life, career or relationship?

how do I get unstuck in my life, career or relationship?

“The hand you are dealt is just the starting point for development.” —Carol Dweck

A growth mindset is simply our belief that a set of skills can be approved upon if we put in the time and effort.
It’s not magic, and it’s certainly not luck.
But if we don’t exert the required effort, we remain stuck.

But how do you know that you ARE stuck? Everyone is different but I think it can show up as job/relationship/body dissatisfaction. It can show up as anger towards those around you who you see “succeeding”. If you connect with any of these, it might be a sign that you need to start working on growing your mindset.

A mind at rest tends to stay at rest while a mind in motion tends to stay in motion so let’s get moving!!!

Here’s my top tips for moving that mind:
1. Practice sitting in silence with your own thoughts (aka meditation). There is no right or wrong, no measurement of success here. Quiet time to think and reflect or just be will help grow your mindset.

2. So will exercise.
Walking, getting outside, any kind of movement for any amount of time is good for the mind. Just start.

3. Stop. Collaborate and Listen.
Start paying attention to your thoughts. When you catch yourself feeling jealousy or hate or even just judgment towards someone, ask yourself why. Is it because you wish you were in their shoes? Is it because you want to be as outspoken, liked or confident as they are? What’s the reason and listen real good. Then turn it around. Start telling yourself the story that you can. Start believing it because the mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and not and when you start feeding it the story you want, it will turn INTO your reality.

4. Keep notes.
Don’t just focus on the outcome - you must learn to appreciate all the steps along the way. You couldn’t jump to the top of Mt. Everest from the bottom just to say you made it! The steps along the way are what you learn and grow from. It teaches you resiliency and grit. It teaches you to not get ahead of yourself. It teaches you to grow.
Take five minutes nightly and write down a few things you did that day that are getting you closer to a goal. Be thankful for the ability to take those steps no matter how small.

5. Change your language and you’ll change your thoughts.
Start practicing with the word “yet”. “I can’t do that.” becomes “I can’t do that, yet.” Take the word TRY completely out of your vocabulary. Try is a safety net - it leaves room for you to duck out and not commit to you. To try is to fail. Just do and do it for you!

I hope this helps - it takes practice! Like learning to ride a bike or walk for the first time, it’s just one foot (or thought in this case) in front of the other every single day. And one day you’ll just notice that you just go there in your head. That you’re more confident, achieving goals, doing things you maybe never thought you could! Growth mindset doesn’t go away, it’s something you’ll carry on with you forever AND remember when I said it wasn’t magic? Well, it kind of is because it has this ability to jump from you to someone else. Watch how your circle starts to become enlightened and how it spreads like wildfire.

If you’re looking for a kick in the pants and you want a little challenge that will help you get going - click on over to our 28 days to Elevate challenge. It’s ready when you are!
Xoxo, Gwen



How Do You Create Habits That Stick?

How Do You Create Habits That Stick?
Ok guys, if you're like me, you've tried to. create new habits and mayyybeeee you hung on for a few weeks or a month or so but after that you quit.

Well I've learned some tips and tricks along the way that I want to share with you today because they've helped me so much. It could be a goal, it could be a habit you want to quit and replace with something else, doesn't matter - these 10 tips will help get you there.

If you love it, I would be honored if you shared it! Comment below your biggest takeaway and how you'll implement it in your life this year. If you want to


Take a listen to the video above, I share a few BONUS tidbits I think you'll want to start implementing today!

1. Start small! 
I want you to look for your BIG goal and then break that down into two tangible activities. Then take those activities, and break them down even further until you have small, tangible activities that can be done in a 12 week periods.

2. Know your excuses
We have all set goals and made excuses why we can't finish them, right?  Please tell me I'm not alone here! I want you to make a list of your typical excuses. Fold a piece of paper in half the long way and then on the left side, list our your excuses  - things like "I don't have the time" or "I'm not smart enough"....list them ALL out on the left side. Then, on the right side I. want you to write the exact opposite of that excuse. Hang it up and revisit it when you start to doubt yourself.

3. Write your goals down!  
writing connects them to your body. It's like your brain creates new neuraal pathways with thosee dreams and goals embodied. Make sure you can see them daily.

4. Don't evaluate daily or even weekly
Give it at least 30 days and then another 30. We all have things that happen in a day. to knock us off our course that are unavoidable. Best thing you can do is reset tomorrow and keep going. 

5. Remind yourself WHY daily.
Most of us quit around the 6-7 day mark, and if not there, around the 13-14 day mark of any new goal or habit. Why?  Sometimes we set our expectations too high, sometimes our goal or habit is too big to achieve in a 12 week period. If you can remember your WHY, you will keep going. 

6. Get a buddy!
Accountability buddies are KEY! Someone you can check in daily with.

7. If you're trying to kick an old habit, replace it with a good one!
For example, if your goal is to stop watching T.V. before bed, replace it with reading before bed. So instead of having a hole in your evening, you're filing it with something better. 

8. Do not expect perfection
Newsflash - NO ONE is perfect :) Going into your goals and habits knowing this will make all the difference.

9. VISUALIZE!
I should have put this at number 1 - visualizing trains your brain because your brain doesn't know the difference between reality and not reality so you know whaat I say? Create the reality yourself!

Ok, so what do you say? Are you ready to tackle some new habits and goals for the year? Leave me a comment below and let me know what you'll be working on so I can cheer you on!

If you want more actionable steps on how to ELEVATE your year, join our 28 to Elevate group HERE 

xoxo, Gwen